


Master Considerations

by Theeniebean



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Game of Thrones References, More of a Freeform Musing, Timeless Children things, but nothing major, diary entry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24427663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theeniebean/pseuds/Theeniebean
Summary: The Master muses.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Master Considerations

**Author's Note:**

> I got a little notebook and decided to write, and it came out like a diary entry. So that's what this is. Might do more. I think the Master totally keeps a diary, just like the Doctor's old xxxx-year diaries like from classic Who.

There are times when I wonder what life would be like if I gave up the stars. The Doctor thinks I've not seen them; that I've left nothing but ash in my wake as I've danced across the inky wastes, but their scope is so narrow, the vanity of their morality so hollow. It's laughable, really. To think we're two sides of the same coin when we're really just a single blade - the universe merely sharpens my edge but stays their hand when wielding the Doctor. 

Does that analogy work? She's killed as many as I have. Maybe not directly. The blood may not be on her hands, but it's been spilled at her feet and in her name. She walks the same red road as I do, yet acts as though she doesn't see the splatter on the flowers. 

So, really, it's probably just the same at the end of the day. The primary difference is that I don't make my friends do it for me.

Mind, one might argue that I don't have any, but then one might counter argue that she's my friend, and she's the one doing that, so indirectly... I'm getting off-topic.

There's an Earth series that was quite popular for a time that has a saying I'm quite taken with: "The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword." Now that's a notion I can get behind. A true philosophy to live by. Shame about the dragon woman - I was quite taken with her razing of the capitol at the end for obvious reasons. Shame the rest of the planet's viewers didn't seem to agree. It was quite poetic - she went round trying to help and help and help and what thanks did she get! Not a lick. 

They had it coming if you ask me.

But I digress.

The Doctor refuses to swing the sword, and this is why they'll never truly understand why I did it.

Not that I'll tell them, mind. Even if they believed me, even if they stopped to listen, the Vault proved that my feelings are only fuel for their infinite ego. Any intimate conversations just end up as medals for their heroic therapy cabinet. 

I won't get my friend back. 

That's why I did it.

Not for the Doctor. Never the Doctor, not anymore; I realize that now. I did it for the memory of the friend that held my hand as we ran through the Capitol. I did it for the boy that kissed me so tenderly while we hid within the grasses of my father's estate. 

I did it for Theta.

A life, singular, lost among dozens, hundreds maybe. A countless number that they'll inevitably forget as they leave it, me, behind and take their place as the God they've always acted like they are.

...I suppose I know now why that is. How cruel. To think I've always followed the starlight they've left in their wake, not knowing how true that actually was.

It's sickening, really. Mooning over her, even still, even now. Knowing what she is. An unobtainable deity. Oh, she may not see it, but I do. I always have, mind, but at least they were an obtainable deity - we both were. Gods among the filth of the universe - but now?

Now I'm the last of my kind, and she towers above me, a starchild.

Is she the last of hers, I wonder? Will she seek the gate? What will she find beyond it? The thought empties me completely. I thought I'd known silence, but the notion of her stepping through- to see my Doctor, my soul, parting ways with my reality - 

What if only she can use that dimensional rift? If it's biologically attuned? But I've got her-

I need to find it first.

Study it.

Destroy it, if necessary.

I won't lose her.

A universe where she hates me, despises me for denying her passage home - could I stand it? Would she ever touch me again? 

My mind draws a blank for the first time in quite a while. Comprehending any action that disappears her from the face of this reality with any real permanency that isn't by my own hand-

No. She's not allowed.

She wouldn't take my hand. All she had to do was take it. I'd follow her wherever if she'd simply take my hand. Why is it so

[The rest of the page is blank.]


End file.
